The Perfect Wife

This Is a "Nasrudin Tale" Nasrudin was, and still is, a folk character from the middle east. Nasrudin was highly regarded by the Caliph, but no one was sure of his position in the court. Was he a wise counselor, or the court fool? Nobody was ever quite sure. One day the caliph and his many sons were trying to decide who to appoint as a trade diplomat to a very important post. All of the sons had a different person they wanted for the post, mostly cronies who had done favors for them. As one son would bring up his candidate, the other sons would tear him down saying things like "he doesn't have enough experience"
Then the other would respond "Your candidate is to old and frail"
Another would chime in "your choice is to young for such an important job"
"Enough" shouted the Caliph "Nasrudin, which candidate do you think I should pick?"

"This is a very hard decision, Caliph." Said Nasrudin " It reminds me of the years I spent looking for the perfect wife. I met many women, some were beautiful, but were too shy. Others were intelligent and outgoing, but were not good cooks. Some had hair too short,and some had hair too long. finally, after years of searching, I found the perfect woman. She was intelligent, and could hold a conversation. Her hair was neither too short, nor too long. She was beautiful, without being vain. She could cook, and keep house. Everything about her was perfect."

"Nasrudin, all these years you have been in my court, and I have never even met your wife!!"
Exclaimed the Caliph "You should bring this remarkable woman to feast with us tomorrow night!"

"Oh, I am not married, Caliph. For you see, she was searching for the perfect husband."

The Nail

Once, there was a merchant who had set up at a grand faire. This merchant was not an evil man, but he was a hasty, and somewhat shortsighted, man. Very early on the last day of the faire he found that he had completely sold out all of his merchandise. He looked at the sky,and thought to himself "If I leave the workers to pack up the tents and tables in the wagon, and I ride my horse with the money I have made. I could just make it home before dark". This was very risky however, for the woods and roads outside the town were dangerous after sunset. The woods were filled with bandits and, dangerous animals like wolves and bears. The merchant ignored these dangers and gathering his earnings, packed his saddlebags, and galloped off.

Mid morning he stopped at a roadside inn, because horses cannot run forever without rest,water, and food. He told the stable boy to water, feed and brush down the horse and to get him as soon as the horse was ready. He was in a great hurry and had no time to waste if he was to make it home before nightfall.

The stable boy came and got the merchant a short while later"The horse is ready to go except for one thing" the stable boy exclaimed "there is a loose nail on one of the horseshoes. Let me take the horse down to the blacksmith,and have him pound the nail in. it won't cost more than a couple of copper coins,or take more than a few minutes, and you can then be on your way."

"NO!" shouted the merchant " I have no time to waste. If the nail has stayed on this long, it will be fine until I get home, But if I take the time to wait for the blacksmith to fix it I won't make it home before dark." He then Jumped on his horse and began to ride off quickly down the road.

Later, in the afternoon, the merchant again stopped to rest and water his horse. he gave the stable boy the same instructions as before "stable boy! come here! Quickly as you can groom and water my horse. as soon as he is ready come get me. I am in a great hurry!!"

A short while later, the stable came up to the merchant. "Your horse is ready" he said "except for one small thing. There is a nail missing out of one of his shoes,and several of the others are coming loose. Let me take him down the road to the blacksmith and have him re-shoe that hoof. It won't take more than a handful of silver coins, and a half hour or so of your time. If you don't do it the horse could lose the shoe and could go lame"

"NO!" shouted the merchant " I have no time to waste. If the nail has stayed on this long, it will be fine until I get home, But if I take the time to wait for the blacksmith to fix it I won't make it home before dark." He then Jumped on his horse and began to ride off quickly down the road.

Then, much later in the afternoon, tragedy struck! The horse ran over a rock in the road and began to limp. The merchant thought that maybe if he got off the horse and walked alongside, the horse would be able to go on. The weight of all those coins in his saddlebag was too much though. He had to leave the horse by the side of the road,and he carried those heavy saddlebags full of coins himself the last several miles to his house. needles to say he was very tired,hungry and much past dark before he made it home. not to mention lucky to have not been robbed by bandits, or eaten by bears in the dark.. No one knows what happened to the horse. All because the wealthy merchant wouldn't stop for a nail

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS;
IF YOU MUST MAKE HASTE, DO SO SLOWLY.

Beowulf's song, still sung

The story of Beowulf stretches back into the mists of time and imagination. It has been sung, told, and written, and retold, re-sung and rewritten. the latest version is a interesting merge of action, thought, history and technology. the story is, at heart, a simple hero's tale. A man of great strength, Beowulf, pits himself in struggle against a monster, Grendel. Hero defeats Monster, and is rewarded with treasures and his praises are sung. Then the plot twists, even in the ancient manuscripts of yore, Grendel's mother seeks revenge. She is a demon from the line of Cain, cursing humanity and hating all that brings happiness to mankind. Beowulf must also slay her to free the land from it's curse and to allow the people in it to rejoice and enjoy life in the mead hall. Later ,in old age, Beowulf must don his armor once again. he must wear the fine web mail to face yet another monster. A fierce dragon attacks his kingdom,and Beowulf faces his last battle. He Kills the dragon, but is himself fatally wounded. His kingdom falls into disarray , without it's strong hero to protect the people they are soon overrun by neighboring tribes. In the latest incarnation, however, it is mans own weakness,and lust that is the down fall of all great heroes. The monster of pride, arrogance, greed, and lust is the most terrifying opponent, and it is our own internal weakness that brings us all down, preventing us all from being heroes.

Siegfried's adventures at the faire

It was a dark and stormy night...Yes, that is the most cliched way of starting a story, but it happens to actually be the truth.... As the thunderstorms were passing all around me I sought safe haven for my longboat at the Village of Deptford, also known as the Illinois Renaissance Faire. I set up my tent and endured a most unusual and unheard of thing. Instead of suffering a cold, wet night, I suffered through a HOT, wet night. Yes, the weather in Illinois is so horrifically bad that it can be dark and raining and still be hot.

The people I met there were very kind and generous though. There were great wizards, the Queen and her court, valiant knights, merry merchants, troubadours and even another storyteller all gathered together for the great festivities.

The next two days were a fair, and bright as the first night had been foul. It was a veritable whirlwind of merriment and fun. I, along with the great throng who attended the faire, feasted on sumptuous and tasty food. There was always music in the air coming from somewhere. The knights gave great entertainment to the gathered crowds, as they fought with great honor, and no heed for personal risk of injury.

I told stories to many good lords and beautiful ladies, as well as the the many fine lads and young damsels who were there. I told stories of foolish men, and wise men. I told tales of heroes, giants, and kings. I told the great tales of the Eddas and Sagas to all who would listen, and hopefully, those who listened were entertained and educated by these great stories of the times gone by.

As I sit here now, safe again home from my travels, my mind thinks back on the great memories, as well as the new ones, that I will make next year.